She Matches My Blackness- Being Understood

Here at foreverblackeffusion we would like to start posting people’s experiences of black love, this is an e-mail we got from Carl in London

I am a black man that has dated women of every race and I feel everyone should be entitled to have that choice, but after dating women of every race I have decided that black women are by far the best for the black man, for example when I have been been a white woman and maybe had a problem at work concerning race or being racial profiled by the police I would come home frustrated and she would never understand, saying I had a chip on my shoulder or was over exaggerating this left me even more frustrated becuase I really wanted the woman I loved to understand what I was going through, but because she wasn’t racist, she felt that no one else was citing things like post race because of Obama (yeah she said it) and I have to admit sometimes it felt like I was headbutting a brick wall. Now put this experience next to dating a black woman, I arrived home and told her about an experience at work where the boss was racist, she stopped what she was doing, made me a cup of tea and we sat down and talked about it, and she understood and even gave me some advice. I can’t even explain how good it felt to get it off my chest to the person closest to me and how comforting it felt to be understood, it just felt like a huge weight was off my shoulder, after that I felt I could go out and face the world with the love of beautiful strong black woman by my side.

Carl 32, London

photo by Carol Douglas/ Carolyn Douglas