Sometimes I think black people look at white people and think they have a problem free existence because of their whiteness, living an idylic life in houses surrounded by picket fences, with the friendliest of neighbours, men coming home after a hard day at work, with their dinner on the table, served by a smiling housewife who looks sexy in an apron, and gazes lovingly at them as they explain their hard day at work, rewarding them later with a night full of passion, including lots and lots of oral sex because as we all know white women love to give plenty of oral sex, right? WRONG. Its this fantasy that has many white men running to Russia and Asian for mail order brides and why the divorce rate amongst white couples is so high with many white men feeling their white wives just aren’t catering to them anymore.
I am a black man who was brought up by a white family in a white neighbourhood, who occasionally went to see my black family so I had the best of both worlds. I’ve dated both black and white women and I can tell you from personal experience and looking around at all of the white friends I grew up, with who are dating or married to white women, that white women definitely are not more supportive than black women.
In fact. I would go as far as to say black women are more supportive than white women to their spouse, black boys and men in general.
Recently I heard one white woman go as far as to say that “white women treat their men like humans whilst black women treat their men like property”, my white friend Dave and I got a good laugh out of that one, with him claiming his ex-wife didn’t see him as property, but more as her own personal cash machine. The other was “white women don’t nag as much as much as black women”, Dave almost spat out his drink at this one stating that he had never dated a black woman but if I went to an after work drinking session or a poker night amongst men and asked the white men there if their wives weren’t nags, the men there would think I was the comical entertainment for the night.
When I hear black men say white women are more supportive than black women, it automatically makes me think that they’re weak, insecure pampered mommy’s boys masquerading as men.
I personally think some black men who feel this way, feel emasculated by ambitious black women and as a way to get back at them and to feel better about themselves create stupidity like this.
I also feel they like to compare themselves to other races and feel left behind thinking that the white women submits to the white man, which couldn’t be anymore further from the truth, white women only submit to their man, if he is a leader, has good judgement and has a plan just like most black women do, just like most women do. If not then she walks all over the man. If white women happily submitted to white men all the time, there definitely wouldn’t be any feminist movements.
What confuses me even more is how some black men think white women are supportive to black men. Now talking in general terms do white women in powerful positions help black men on the corporate ladder? you’d think after all the sexism they’ve experienced as white women they would lend a helping hand. Especially as they’ve been the main beneficiaries of affirmative action. Nope again.
Do they listen when a black man comes home after facing racism at work? Now in my experience and after talking to many black men who have dated white women the answer is a strong no, instead they were met with lines like I’m a woman I know how it feels, or get rid of that chip on your shoulder, which begs the question if it’s that bad to be a white woman today, think how bad must be for a black woman.
So back to the original question why do black men think white women are more supportive?
My take is it’s black men who grew up watching too much TV who think like this after being manipulated by the white dominated programs and movies on constant rotation like ‘The Blindside’, a movie which is portrays a white woman raising a black boy, movies and programs which rarely if ever feature black people unless it’s in a negative light or needing help. I think programs and movies like this blind black boys to the black mother in the kitchen cooking, cleaning washing and ironing their clothes, the black mother who had their back when they were wrongly accused of stealing from a shop by a racist security guard, the black mother who stood by their fathers when they lost their job and then to make ends meet took on two jobs. The type of black women who started the blacklivesmatter movement or the black women on the front line of every black movement since before and after the civil rights movement.
Now in my own experience after having dating both black and white women, black women have your back in tough situation a hell of a lot more than white women, there’s been times when I’ve been in some really rough situations, and it was my black girlfriend who was by my side no matter what, she was the one who listened intently to my problems as I explained to her about the racism I’d experienced at work or at the hands of the police a far cry away from my white girlfriend who would somehow try to make the situation about her, a trait I’ve noticed in many white women when the issue of racism comes up.
But………………There was a time when white women were really supportive of their men though………………………and that was when they were putting chains around black people’s neck. Just my opinion.
Rashid ‘Gama’ Ashiru