Why I refuse to date white women

I’m a black man who was raised by a white family and have dated both black and white women, but after my last relationship with a white woman, dating black women and having conversations with friends who date white women. I have made the decision to never date a white woman again and to some of the white people who get angry with this, maybe you should get just as angry when black men post reasons why the refuse to date black women. Here are my 7 reasons.

1.They don’t understand black people

They don’t understand black people or the black experience in the Western world, some try but most times it’s just fake and done for approval, whilst others don’t even bother and claim it’s the same being a women in this world, which makes me think, if it’s hard being a white woman in this world, how hard is it being a black woman, but that’s another story. This is something that used to drive me crazy. I’d come home from work after seeing on the news an innocent black boy was shot to death and want to vent, but all I would get was a blank stare and a shrug of the shoulders. I wanted her to be just as angry as I was, not just because a black boy was shot but a human being but they rarely seemed to care. Then one day a wise white woman was kind enough to explain to me what the deal was. Your girlfriend she said “loves you, but she doesn’t love your race”. This one piece of advice explained everything.

2. They have a superiority complex

From cradle to the grave white people are taught they’re superior to people of colour in this world, and anything worth creating was created by a white person. Every opportunity they get they like to tell the world of their achievements, whether it’s in school or in move theatres and when other races do the same they are labelled racist.
So taking this into account, no matter if a white woman believes she isn’t racist when she dates a black man, she still consciously or unconsciously expects the black man to be appreciative that she traded her whiteness to be with him, they way she looks at it, is like this she could be with a superior white man, but she chose him, which means no matter how successful he is, he should feel lucky to be with her, just because of the colour of her skin.

When Hancock (Will Smith, left), saves the life of a PR exec, he tries to return the favor by cleaning up the disgruntled superhero's public image, despite the fact that his wife, Mary (Charlize Theron, right) thinks that Hancock is a lost cause in Columbia Pictures' Hancock.  The film is directed by Peter Berg.  The screenplay is by Vy Vincent Ngo and Vince Gilligan.  The film is produced by Akiva Goldsman, Michael Mann, Will Smith, and James Lassiter.  Hancock is set for release July 2, 2008.

When Hancock (Will Smith, left), saves the life of a PR exec, he tries to return the favor by cleaning up the disgruntled superhero’s public image, despite the fact that his wife, Mary (Charlize Theron, right) thinks that Hancock is a lost cause in Columbia Pictures’ Hancock. The film is directed by Peter Berg. The screenplay is by Vy Vincent Ngo and Vince Gilligan. The film is produced by Akiva Goldsman, Michael Mann, Will Smith, and James Lassiter. Hancock is set for release July 2, 2008.

3. I don’t need white validation

Many black men date white women to fit in, they think if they get with a white woman it will make them more human, and feel like somebody. According to black psychiatrist Dr Levin some black men find it hard to connect with black women because they serve as a symbol of their own failure as men, a white woman is acceptance into a white world and a soothing lotion for their pride and ego, they can imagine they’re equal to the white man. I don’t need to feel I’m equal. I already know I am.

4. I want an honest relationship

If I’m dating a white woman and can’t tell her about my feelings concerning race for fear that I will be told I have a chip on my shoulder then it’s not an honest relationship, most men I’ve seen downplay the racism they experience so they aren’t labelled black man with attitude whilst tearing themselves apart inside, many white people don’t like to talk about this as it makes them feel uncomfortable and would rather live in denial even if they know it’s tearing their partner up inside, if they do this they don’t really love their partner. I don’t need that in my life.

5. I love myself

When I look in the mirror I love what I see. My soft brown skin, deep brown eyes, full lips, round nose, and curly hair and I look for the same in my partner, for example I have very strong black features and I’ve always been attracted to black women with the same. I’ve read in a book that when a black man insults black women and instead chooses a white woman he is unconsciously reinforcing his own inferiority. Which I feel is true.

reflection-in-mirror


6. I’m not entertainment

So many white people see black men as entertainment, like they’re comedians, some black men feel it’s their role and start acting like Kevin Hart at the drop of a hat to get a few laughs, some will even insult their own blackness or become a stereotype to become more comfortable. I’ve got too much pride for that.

7. Many are jealous of black women

More white women are jealous of black women than they would have you believe, the amount of videos of black men with white women bashing black women is crazy, if you flip it, you don’t see the same amount of black women doing the same.

They are in direct competition with black women and many will say things like I don’t have attitude upon meeting them, because they’ve heard the stereotype that all black women have attitude, I’ve heard white women with black friends say this many times.

8. And The last reason is because………………. Black women are the shhhhhhhhhh

In my experience black women are so down, supportive, intelligent, forgiving and beautiful, I’d be crazy not to want to date them. With a black woman I can just be myself and take off the mask I wear out in the white world, with a black woman I am always seen as fully human. I don’t have to try to be anyone or anything. I don’t have to try to be ‘the good black man’ I can just be me.

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Rashid Gama Ashiru

17 thoughts on “Why I refuse to date white women

  1. Love it! I am one Black woman who has never cared that some Black men choose white women. I just couldn’t understand why they seem to feel the need to insult Black women. You say they do it to make their white woman feel secure/superior to Black women – Hmmmmmmm…..

    • Thanks for the comment Addie. I feel they do it, because the white women they’re with feel imtimidated by black women, because deep down they know a black man is supposed to be with a black woman, so by disrespecting black women in their presence the white woman feels comfortable.

  2. As with all stereotypes, this rings true but it’s breeds separation which in turn breeds prejudice. I have known white women as mentioned above and others that are not. This article leaves me a little sad and the feeling that we shouldn’t discourage from cross race dating but look out for the signs above and steer clear of those who exhibit them.

    • That’s a bit of a cop out Peter. This doesn’t breed separation in people, like I stated I was raised by white people. It breeds separation in relationships, which I don’t see anything wrong with. We can still dialogue with them, but as you can probably see after 100s of years of having sex with them, not a huge amount has changed.

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