How I came to love Black women…

I recently came across an article by writer and poet Menlik Charles about his love for black women, and how he came to love them even though he grew up in a white environment.


I know we all have our preferences guys but for me, sisters like Lupita Nyong’o have me inwardly howling like a wolf, and discreetly adjusting my trousers.

Why is this?’ I

Maybe not growing up at home, or around Black people, has meant that I’ve not been sufficiently conditioned to perceive dark-skinned sisters as lessor beauties. This conditioning typically begins first within the Black family, and second, is reinforced by the wider, white society, its mass media, when Black children begin to engage with it.

If this is the case (and it is), then I missed out on the crucial first stage of this conditioning as I spent much of my early years in virtually all-white boarding schools far away from colorist comments, and casual references to ‘good’ hair, coming from within my family.

I was lucky.

It’s one thing to grow up as an ‘English boy” (as I was referred to every time I came home for school holidays) and something else entirely being a normal ‘Black’ boy groomed by loved ones to perceive one self as inherently inferior to our white neighbors!

I was lucky!

My early fixation with white girls was not, therefore, reinforced by way of negative sub-conscious comparisons to Black girls (there were none where I went to school). So my awakening to the beauty of Black females was not hindered by an internal colorism inherited from my Black family….

And nor was my breakthrough to the realization of Black female beauty blocked by a fixation with sisters of a lighter hue like a Beyonce…nope. From the age of 17, I went for the kind of sisters white men into Black women went for (I was an ‘English boy’ after all!) and I have never looked back!

So I’m a dark-skinned, ‘negroid-featured’, Black male with an overwhelming aesthetic preference for females of a similar description.

So, yeah….I really was lucky not to have grown up in a ‘Black’ family riddled with colorism, and self-loathing…I was fortunate, in a sense, to have been raised ‘white’!

How ironic is that?

(c) Menelik Charles.


5 thoughts on “How I came to love Black women…

  1. He says he learned to love dark skinned beauties but the two women featured looked to multi-racial women with non-Negroid features. Sigh…

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